Today I went to the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island with my fantastic cousin. I can tell you that after seeing this parade, I can now die.
Standing in the rain with obnoxiously tall men with babies clawing to their bodies in front of you screaming obscenities at women while watching a parade filled with what seemed like to me some strange clip from a John Waters flick or some derelict brew-ha-ha with women, men and everything in between dressed as mermaids or some strange underwater creature is AMAZING.
People of all ages and sagginess strutting themselves in basically their nakedness is a sight to be seen. I think my favorite groups were the Rocky Horror Fisher Show, Splash Dance, and Chicken of the Sea. No description needed. HILARIOUS.
Also there was this woman (at least I think it was a woman) who made a sort of Fred Flintstone float and walked in it with her tail sticking out of it to give the illusion that she was in fact a genuine mermaid swimming in the sea, except for her feet which moved her vehicle the whole time. It confused my eyes.
This event is priceless and I strongly suggest that everyone go to it at least once in their lives. Perhaps I will post some naughty pictures of these mermaids and mermen. Roar baby, roar.
ps. watch my thesis MEATWAFFLE. Your body will excrete with ecstasy. I promise.